On loving Love and Relationships

I’m almost surprised how much has not changed in my life in the last year. Or, if we want to be real here, since graduating college.

I’m in the same job.

Same living situation.

Going out to the same places.

Hanging with the same friends.

Living in mainly the same haircut and wardrobe.

(Which is mostly without complaint, so we’re clear.)

But I know I’ve grown in the last two years. And it’s clear to me that my changes – even largely reflected within my blog content  – have come from one very strong dimension of my life: relationships.

By this, I mean more than just my realization that I should be treated well or that I can have a real, communicative romantic relationship [ala the infamous blog post on Discovering Grown-up Relationships, later followed up with an essay for Facets Magazine (page 25 – 27 of their February/ March issue).]

No – what I think brought my 20’s and post-college life into maturation was the new token of transparency I found across my peers. It was establishing new forms of trust and communication with those around me and seeing strangers post honest blog posts about their relationships. It was reading psychology articles about maintaining love in a marriage and the chemistry behind why we love. It was when my friends finally started sharing the stuff behind-closed-doors; stuff that I complained about, too, but thought made me crazy.

And transparency was just the catalyst. I’m no longer afraid to touch on any aspect that goes into love and relationships because they’re all important and real and I hate that we cover them up. Sex. Arguing. Compromise. Growth. Sex, again. Break ups. Marriage. Doubt.

I understand the need for privacy – especially across certain mediums – but finding a new level of comfort with discussing these matters has filled my life with a whole new passion. Sharing has brought me closer with people I never could have imagined and has brought on several realizations about myself.

I am finding a new hobby in my desire to learn about the reasoning, psychology and chemistry behind love.

I hope to not imply that I am extra nosey or invested in other’s private lives, but simply: I think I am finding a passion and potential career prospect in love and relationships much the same way as others dedicate their lives to learning and helping others with nutrition or fitness.

(Maybe that’s why I own 15 different relationship books just for fun, or spend hours reading a bloggers “how we met ” story and comments, or offer to listen to my friend complain about their boyfriend for the 14th time, or secretly look up a master’s or PhD programs in marriage and family counseling so I can do more research on the subject.)

Maybe I’m crazy…

But, just tell me your story.


7 thoughts on “On loving Love and Relationships

  1. you’re not crazy! This is totally cool. I would write more about my marriage/relationship but I honestly just don’t even know where to start! Or what to write about that won’t gag people or bore them to tears!!

    • I love learning about you and Max – but I also know it’s not the main focus of your blog. I don’t think people would be bored (or “aww”ed out) if you included him more! (You could always focus on how you help each other or comfort each other or make things work, etc.)

  2. Pingback: Book Review: The Secret Life of CeeCee Wilkes | Mmm Stories

  3. OK so I’ve been thinking about this a ton lately too, and I think it can be summed up thusly: I just love getting meta. I’m fascinated with why people do the things they do — women in particular — and so I love analyzing my relationship as well as others’. It’s not just romantic relationships either; it’s all bonds. I seriously can’t get enough. I love reading books on the psychology and biology behind why we interact the way we do, and I think I find bloggers fascinating because it feels like a perfect little case study.

    I keep saying this on my blog but if you’re into this stuff, you MUST read A Practical Wedding and READ ALL THE COMMENTS. You’ll be in relationship meta heaven!

    • YES. to everything you just said!!! People are my favorite puzzle to put together and figure out.

      I think I’ve been holding off on APW for the same reason I held off on Pinterest. Haha Now I’m way too intrigued..I’ll let you know my thoughts!

      • HA, funny that you think of them the same way, because I suppose there are some similarities in how much time you can spend on them. But APW is, I believe, a time suck for a higher cause. Pinterest makes you want to plan a wedding. APW makes you want to look at your relationship.

        Excited to hear your thoughts!

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