The Unhealthiest Habit…Owned

When I wrote my How to be Bad at Blogging post, I was very aware of what brought me to my blogging lapses. It’s actually one of the things about myself I am most aware. But it seemed too…taboo   crazy   honest   abnormal..to talk about.

‘Cuz the thing is – I have a huge lag between knowing the right thing to do and actually doing the right thing.

I seem to have perpetual procrastination. I think I feel comfort in not having something done.

Finishing is scary. Because what’s next?

Waiting.

And it kills me.

 

Yes, there is always waiting in incompletion. But it’s all resting on my shoulders, not free-falling into the universe, waiting for someone else to decide whether to accept or reject my project, blog, comment, picture, idea, etc etc. Sometimes it’s easier for me to put off knowing whether my completion will mean success or failure.

Because waiting to do is sometimes easier than waiting to fail.

 

This is one of my unhealthiest habits and it eats up every part of my life.

working out.
applying for jobs.
waking up.
responding to emails.
commenting on blogs.
dealing with relationships.

I actually know this about myself.

 

But the worst part? I know that most of you might read this and think “How could you be like that?!”

Most of you are planners by nature.
Most of you like being in control.
Most of you feel a sense of release and happiness by crossing the “To Do’s” off your list.

 

I mean…it’s not that I  don’t feel a thrill in accomplishing. And if you want me to be completely honest with you…

 

My procrastination is more than just putting it off.
It’s a piece of my perfectionism.

I don’t post because I’m waiting for just. the. right. time.

I didn’t turn in the cover letter because it’s just not good enough.
I’m not responding to the email because it deserves more of my attention.
I haven’t told him what I needed to say because I can’t word it right.

 

See, the anxiety is my friend.
Something I know how to handle.

I’m just like that quote we all grew up with:
The one that says failure is less scary than success and that complacency is our safe place.
It goes against all my intution to post this – in a community of perfectionists dedicated to taking every measure possible – and I’m aware of this marketing mistake.

 

But my sorry excuse for explanations are not worth as much as me just telling the truth.
SOMETIMES I DON’T DO IT WHEN IT’S HARD.  SOMETIMES I’M TOO AFRAID OF FAILING TO TRY AT ALL. SOMETIMES I PICK THE EASY WAY OUT.

I know the difference between doing it right and doing it wrong.

..and sometimes…I pick wrong.

Microwave Mexican Breakfast

While living in the sorority house in college, my roommates and I had 2 rules: 1) Boys are dumb (the actual phrase is a little less PC) and 2) Chips and salsa are the bomb.

Let me say that many-a-nights were spent pondering life’s (boy) problems over bags and bottles of the magical snack.

Inexplicably, a craving for salty treats has recently overpowered my usual love of sweets. Maybe it’s the intense sweating I’ve forced my body to return to. May it’s the fact that I’ve dined out more times in the past month than I have in the entire year. Maybe it’s hormones.

Either way, chips and salsa has hit a peak again  in my life. This time I’ve proactively spent time trying to healthify the combo or round it into a meal. Yesterday, I made tofu nachos. This morning, I had an idea for a quick twist on chilaquiles, the traditional Mexican breakfast of fried tortilla simmered in salsa and served with eggs, cheese and beans.

With that I bring you is Microwave Mexican for Breakfast

To serve 1:

  • 2 eggs (if you’re like me and your egg + eggwhite turn into more of egg + 3/4 egg)
  • 1 serving tortilla chips, crumbled
  • 1/4 cup spinach
  • 1/4 cup red pepper
  • jalapeno pieces to taste
  • scoopfuls of salsa
  • optional: shredded mozzarella or “3 cheese Mexican blend”

The directions are easy. Combine all ingredients in a bowl, the eggs should coat tortilla chips easily. Microwave for a minute and stir, then microwave for about another 45 seconds. Top with more salsa.

I totally dig the soggy tortilla chips in what would usually just be a microwave omelet. So yeahhh I have a problem but it was exactly what I wanted this morning and was less involved than the more authentic recipes. It should be noted that according to Wikipedia, chilaquiles are commonly eaten to cure hangovers. Which means I will probably make this tomorrow.

Tonight is a big party for 2 of my good friends and I’m guessing it will be filled with sugar, alcohol, and more creative drink concoctions. I have 2 awesome recipes up my sleeve that I can’t wait to share!

Damn it feels good to be back in the kitchen!

Have you ever had authentic chilaquiles? What’s your stance on chips and salsa?

Don’t Blog Like I Blog

Blogger No-Nos I Do Anyway/ Breaking the Blogging Rules/ How To Be a Bad Blogger: 

1) Take photos with Blackberry camera
I wouldn’t exactly call them artsy. But maybe it’s an art I have to learn..That’s why there’s editing software!

Bish, what you eating?! 

2) Avoid any mention of Healthy Living
Remember when I made up healthy recipes and worked out? Me either. I mean…barely. It would appear, however, that my blog details quite the adventurous party and love life. There’s gotta be a compromise in there somewhere.

3) Post irregularly 
We’re talking 4 times a month, random dates and time – sorry for the mindfuck, folks.

4) Poor commenting
I promise I’ve been reading your blog! Actually I’ve been following and getting immersed in tonsss lately but I’ve been the worst at showing the love. Let’s get that out of the way now: You are too funny! That meal looks delicious! I’m sorry about the injury.

5) Stop telling stories
Resort to lists.

Sigh. The truth can really sting. And while I’d like to say #sorryimnotsorry I’ve been busy living life, the fact is that I do want to put my best blogging foot forward. I need to amp up the blog juices these days. Is there a fluid to aid in this? 5-Hour Energy? Kombucha?

New Goals, Mel. Be a better blogger. Be a better healthy liver. Figure life out.

I’ll be back to expound further on what’s been going on for me to make these realizations. Or at least I think I will?

Seriously, what are your hints for blogging at your best?