My Perfect Relationship

Happy Valentine’s Day!!

The day of love has never been a true downer for me. I’ve never really done the whole “Valentine’s Day thing” but I’ve  had my fair share of  “Valentine’s Day kinda-sorta-things.” I think it’s about more than jut a hot date…

Besides my cookie valentines to my best friends, I received an annual card from my step-father. And at work, people are feeling extra-sweet.

the spread

I want to use the good vibes in today’s February air to put something out there in the universe. Maybe even as a reminder to myself or a check list of sorts – so that one day I will recognize it when I see it.

My perfect relationship.

The few qualities I know will make up my dream partnership. I do believe it exists, because I believe in putting in hard work and effort.

It composes of the 3 important factors.

  1. Integration

Yeah, its sort of a business word, but it’s the best word I can think of to represent the idea of combining 2 worlds into 1.

In my ideal relationship, my friends are his friends and his friends are mine and together we’ve even created our own network, as well. Being actively integrated into each other’s lives is something I always day dream about. Being able to have nights with our respectable groups – and then meet up together.

I think this also – and even more importantly– applies to family! I grew up living far from much of my extended family so I dream of my children being friends with their cousins. My proudest and happiest moments have come from watching my brother or sister bond with my significant others – and I try to exercise that same policy with their partner’s or my partner’s families. I would be so happy if our sets of parents could get along as well. I didn’t exactly grow up with scenarios like this and I stand by the fact that it would be wonderful for our families to feel like one unit instead of just 2 sides.

2. Communication

I was a communication major. I’ve been known to spark deep conversations with everyone from a taxi driver to a friend from class to a best friend to a person at a bar. I think this comes from my ability to very easily see something from someone else’s point-of-view.

But man oh man has it been hard for me to spill out my true thoughts or feelings to someone of the opposite sex! My tendency to slip into someone else’s thoughts leads me to withhold my own upset or frustration or even love. I’ve never liked being the “weak one” and have previously felt like expressing myself put me in that category. A big que for me will be a man who in turn respects my emotions, thoughts and perspective. In this relationship, I will be able to express my thoughts and feelings – and will listen when he does the same.

3. Comfort

In college it’s easy to hide behind the lubrication of alcohol. Bringing someone to a date event? No longer awkward after the pregame. Date night? Movies at the frat house.

But that’s not real life. It’s so important to me that a partner become just that – a partner in the daily activities. Someone who I feel comfortable dining with, working out with, heading out to shows or parks with. It may sound silly, but having a shopping buddy or a guy who won’t laugh at my messing eating is pretty hard for me. Comfort for me means no longer second guessing or carefully monitoring my every move but feeling free to let my mind peace out so I can ever-so-gracefully (or not) be myself.


There are my main factors that I think I actively keep on my radar because they are not innate for me and are not as transparent in relationships.

Other things on my Valentine’s Day wishlist?

A man who can express himself in words in a way to rival mine; a man who wants to celebrate the same traditions I grew up with and finds them important; a man who will get excited about good food, adventuring and his friends and family.

Lisa wrote a very real and very relatable post about this sand I think everyone deserves a little bit of what she described.

“You made me realize that there is a man out there for me who will put in the effort for me. He will realize that I am an amazing person with so much to give. I will be able to share with him my fears and dark side…and he will love me for it. I want a partner. A companion. True intimacy with someone. I want someone who will go do something he doesn’t love from time to time just because I love it. I want someone who wants to be with me…who wants to experience life with me. I want someone who isn’t afraid to show what they feel for me and to express their emotions. I want someone who is completely comfortable communicating their wants, needs, desires and fears. I want a goofy and fun love.”

Thanks universe. You listening?

Wishing everyone lots of love on this Valentine’s Day!

In your opinion, what are some of the most important qualities a good relationship should have?

6 thoughts on “My Perfect Relationship

  1. I definitely agree with all three things. Personally, I would also include humor in there. A relationship is awesome to me when both people don’t take each other too seriously, and can laugh about things together. Happy V-Day!

  2. Pingback: My Favorite Little Guy «

  3. Pingback: The Story I Haven’t Told You « Mmm Stories

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